


bad idea

by Ice_Queen784



Series: Pepperony Songfics [2]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Based on an Ariana Grande song, Depression, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Loneliness, Mild Smut, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-04-07 07:59:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19080811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ice_Queen784/pseuds/Ice_Queen784
Summary: Pepper has never felt a pain like this before. She has never felt more alone. To numb the pain, she finds herself following through with a very bad idea.Based on bad idea by Ariana Grande.





	bad idea

_I’ve been outta sight_  
_I’ve been worried ‘bout you lately_  
_Runnin’ out of time_  
_Wishin’ you would come and save me_

Pepper laid in bed alone. She had never felt more alone in her life. Three weeks had passed since Tony’s death. She still couldn’t believe he was really gone.

She had known him for more than twenty years. It felt like she had known him her whole life. And for much of that time, she and Tony had only had each other. Sure, they had a few other friends, but no one they were that close with. And neither of them had much in the way of close family. Outside of the two of them, Rhodey and the other Avengers were the closest friends they had.

Since Tony’s death, Pepper had spent most of her time at home. She didn’t really leave except to go to work. She put all of her energy into taking care of Morgan. Pepper had always feared she would end up raising Morgan alone, but she never dreamed that fear would be realized. She had feared Tony’s death since the day he became Iron Man, but she never could have imagined how much it would hurt when it really happened.

Pepper knew people were worried about her. She had always been good at compartmentalizing her emotions, but in the last three weeks, she had become a stone cold statue. She was the CEO of a billion dollar company, she didn’t have time to cry constantly. And she had to stay strong for Morgan. Her daughter needed her. She needed to help her daughter deal with her grief. So she pushed aside her own.

At least until Morgan went to bed, and she was alone. Then she cried for hours. She cried until she physically couldn’t anymore. Half the time, she cried herself to sleep on the couch or at the kitchen table.

She was becoming increasingly withdrawn from people. Rhodey, Peter, and May came to visit her on a regular basis, but she hardly talked to anyone else. She wished Natasha was still here. She had become one of Pepper’s best friends over the years they had known each other. There was really no one who would’ve known how to comfort her better. But she was dead too.

Pepper could feel herself slowly losing her control. Control was something she desperately needed to have. That was something she and Natasha had in common. But without Tony, she could feel that tight control she had slipping away. And she could tell she was running out of time before she lost her mind completely.

She needed Tony. But she didn’t have him anymore, and she never would again. He wasn’t just away on a mission with the Avengers. He was dead. He was gone and he would never come back. And she just couldn’t handle it. She desperately needed him to come back and help her. To save her from the hopeless spiral of depression and insanity she was falling into.

But he was never coming back. And a voice in the back of her mind told her that if he couldn’t save her, she would just have to find someone that could.

‘ _Cause I don’t wanna roll with it_  
_Tryna get control of it_  
_Why can’t I let go of it?_  
_Gotta find somebody quickly_

The next afternoon, Rhodey came to visit her. Pepper was grateful for his company. He was the only other person who even came close to knowing what she was going through. He had known Tony even longer than she had and he was his best friend. He was the closest thing to Tony she had left.

Rhodey offered to play with Morgan while Pepper made lunch. She watched from the kitchen as they played with toy cars in the living room. She smiled sadly. Rhodey was so good with Morgan. And she couldn’t help but think of Tony. Tears welled up in her eyes and she tried her best to push them away.

She was trying her best to stay strong for her daughter, but there were days where she could hardly look at her without crying. She was so much like her father. And almost any memory of him could bring Pepper to tears in an instant. She hated herself for it. Her daughter needed her more than ever right now, and she couldn’t even be around her half the time without crying.

She burst into tears and dropped the knife she’d been holding. She didn’t even notice until it hit her bare foot. She screamed. Suddenly, she felt like she couldn’t think. She couldn’t even breathe. She sank to the floor, unable to do anything but sob.

“Pepper, breathe.” Rhodey’s voice brought her back to reality. He was sitting beside her, holding her in his arms. “It’s alright. Just breathe.”

“No. It’s not alright.” She cried. “It will never be alright again. Tony’s gone.”

“I know.” He ran his fingers through her hair softly. “But you’re a strong woman. You’ll get through this.”

“Rhodey, I can’t do this alone.” She sobbed into his chest. “I need Tony, but he’s not here and he never will be again. And I don’t know who else I can turn to. I feel like I’m losing my damn mind. And I try so hard to get control of myself, but every time I start to I fall apart again. I’m so lost. And I have no idea what to do.”

“Pepper, I know no one can ever replace Tony. But you can always turn to me.” He promised. “You don’t have to do this alone.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Absolutely.” He gave her a reassuring smile. “Now let’s finish making lunch.”

_I got a bad idea_  
_How ‘bout we take a little bit of time away?_  
_I got a bad idea_  
_Forget about it, yeah, forget about him, yeah_  
_Forget about me_

Rhodey helped Pepper put Morgan down for a nap, then stayed with her for the rest of the afternoon. He sat down next to her on the couch and she cuddled up against him instinctively.

They watched a movie, but Pepper could hardly pay attention to it. All she could think about was Tony. She started crying again.

“Pepper, it’s going to be alright.” Rhodey comforted her. She looked up at him and he wiped a tear from her cheek. “You’re the strongest woman I’ve ever met, and you’re going to be fine.”

“Don’t lie to me, Rhodey.” She gave a small smile. “I think we both know Natasha Romanoff was the strongest woman either of us ever met.”

“You’re just as strong as she was, Pepper.” He told her. “You just don’t realize it.”

Pepper just shrugged. She didn’t feel like that was true. She was nowhere near as strong as Natasha was. But if Natasha were still here, she would know exactly how to make her feel like she was. She had helped Pepper through some hard times before. And she would do it again, if she were still here. But she was gone. And the thought of her made her cry harder.

“I just can’t believe they’re both gone.” She sobbed.

“Me either.” He took her in his arms and let her cry into his chest.

Eventually, Pepper sat back up, but she didn’t pull away from Rhodey. For some reason, her impulse told her not to. Her impulse told her not to let go of him. Instead, her impulse told her to close the gap between them. She didn’t know why, but she didn’t stop to think about it. She had stopped thinking about anything. She just followed her impulse.

She leaned forward and kissed him hard. And he kissed her back. It felt weird. It felt wrong. But it felt good. It felt like a release. A release of all the pain she’d been holding inside. And she held onto that kiss until she started thinking again.

She pulled away suddenly, realizing what she was doing.

“I’m sorry.” She said. “I don’t know what came over me.”

“It’s alright,”

“No. It’s not.” She stood up. “I think you should go.”

“Pepper, I-,”

“No. Just go.” She insisted. “Forget that even happened. Just go.”

He didn’t argue with her anymore. He just got up and left.

Pepper sat back down and cried again. What the hell was wrong with her? Tony had been dead for three weeks and here she was making out with his best friend. How could she do that? How could she betray him like that?

She shook her head. Rhodey was wrong. She wasn’t as strong as Natasha. If Nat had been in her shoes, she never would’ve done something that impulsive and stupid. She was stronger than that. But Pepper wasn’t. She just couldn’t be.

_I got a bad idea_  
_Yeah, I’ma call you over here to numb the pain_  
_I got a bad idea_  
_Forget about it, yeah, forget about him, yeah_  
_Forget about me_

Pepper tried so hard to forget about what happened with Rhodey. But she couldn’t. She didn’t want to. She wanted to do it again.

She didn’t really want Rhodey. She wanted Tony. But he was gone. Rhodey was as close as she could get. So the next day, she called him again.

“Pepper?” He answered. “What’s up? I’m gonna be honest, I wasn’t expecting to hear from you again so soon.”

“I know. I’m sorry about yesterday.” She replied. “But if you have time to come over today, I’d like to see you again.”

“Um, okay.” He sounded confused. “I have a meeting this afternoon, but I can come over this evening.”

“Alright. I’ll see you tonight, then.”

The moment Pepper hung up the phone, she regretted calling him. Why was she doing this? This was a horrible idea. She knew what she would do if she came over. Why did she want that? This could ruin everything. She genuinely liked Rhodey, and she didn’t want to ruin their friendship. Her common sense told her to call him back and tell him not to come over. But she ignored it.

Rhodey came over after dinner. They played with Morgan for a couple hours before putting her to bed. Then they sat down on the couch, like they had the day before. She reached over and grabbed his hand.

“Pepper, why did you call me over here today?” He asked.

“You make me feel like he’s still here.” She admitted. “You’re the closest thing I have left to him.”

“I think Morgan is actually the closest thing you have left to him.”

“That’s not quite what I meant.” She replied. He raised an eyebrow.

“Pep, what did you mean?”

“You’re the closest thing to Tony that I,” She sighed. “That I can have.”

“I’m still not sure I understand.”

“You make me feel like he’s still here.” She tried to explain. “You numb the pain a little, I guess.”

She started crying again. He reached over and wiped a tear from her cheek. She instinctively leaned into his touch.

“Pepper, I will always be here to help you, you know that.”

“I know.”

This time, he was the one who closed the gap between them. He kissed her and she latched on desperately. This time, she wouldn’t let go. She climbed into his lap and started to take off his shirt.

“I should go.” He said, breaking them apart a bit.

“You’re right.” She agreed. “You should leave here and forget this ever happened. Forget you even know me. But you won’t.”

“You’re right. I won’t.”

_Yeah, I know we shouldn’t, baby, but we will_  
_Need somebody, gimme something I can feel_  
_But boy, don’t trip, you know this isn’t real_  
_You should know, I’m temporary_

Rhodey kissed her again, deeper this time. They started undressing each other as they made out. When she started to unbutton his pants, he picked her up and carried her to her bedroom. He sat her down on the bed and stood in front of her.

“Just thought I’d make it easier for you.” He said. She giggled.

He climbed on top of her and they went back to undressing each other. He kissed her again. Once she was naked, his lips moved down to her neck and his hand moved between her legs.

“Rhodey,” she moaned softly. The name felt weird coming out of her mouth. She certainly never envisioned herself in this situation. She moaned again as he put one finger inside her.

“I could get used to that sound.” He told her with a smile. He slipped another finger inside her and she moaned again. He kept fingering her and kissing her neck and chest until she just couldn’t take it anymore.

“Rhodey, I-I need you inside me. Right now.” He removed his fingers and pulled away from her a little.

“Pepper, are you sure you want to do this?” He asked. “Because I want to, but I know we shouldn’t.”

“We shouldn’t. But we will.” She replied. “Rhodey, I want you. Now.”

“Then you can have me.”

She gasped as he entered her. He kissed her again, and she moaned into his mouth.

A voice in the back of her mind told her this was wrong. Everything about this was wrong. But she ignored the voice. Because this felt good, even if it didn’t feel right.

She needed this. She needed to feel something good. Half the time she forced herself to feel nothing. To be numb. And when she wasn’t, she just felt pain and sadness. She needed to feel pleasure.

When they finished, and he rolled off her, for awhile they just laid there in silence. Then Rhodey spoke.

“As wrong as this is, I really could get used to this.” He remarked.

“Maybe I could too.” She replied, trying not to think too hard about what she’d just done.

“So is this like, a relationship now?” Rhodey asked.

“No.” Pepper shot back immediately. “This is not a relationship. I am not ready to commit to anyone right now, and I honestly don’t think I ever will be again.”

He seemed unsure what to say to that.

“Listen, I enjoyed tonight.” She told him. “I needed that. And if you want to do this again, you are welcome to come over. But this will never be a real relationship. I’m done with those. I already had the best one I could ever have. I met my soulmate and I married him. And just because he’s dead doesn’t mean you can walk in here and replace him.”

“Maybe it’s best if I go.” He got out of bed and started getting dressed again.

“I think it is.” She replied.

He left. And the moment he walked out the door, she broke down crying.

‘ _Cause I don’t wanna roll with it_  
_Tryna get control of it_  
_Why can’t I let go of it?_  
_Gotta find somebody quickly_

Eventually, Pepper got out of bed and put her clothes back on. She wandered outside to the pond. She liked to sit out here and think. She remembered Tony did too.

The thought of Tony made her cry harder. What the hell had she just done? She had just slept with Tony’s best friend. If Tony could see her right now, and she really felt like he could, she was sure he hated her.

“I’m sorry.” She said to Tony. She hoped, wherever he was, he could hear her. “I’m so sorry, Tony.”

She desperately wished she could talk to someone about this. If Natasha was still alive, she’d talk to her. She would be able to help her. She always seemed to know just what to do. But she wasn’t here. So she laid down in the grass and looked up at the sky.

“Nat, I don’t know if you can hear me. I hope you can. I need your help.” She said to the stars. “I slept with Rhodey. I know, it was stupid and impulsive. But he’s the closest thing I have left to Tony and I was lonely and desperate for some kind of distraction. For something to numb the pain and sadness. So I slept with him. And the worst part is I enjoyed it. But I don’t want a relationship with him. I don’t want a relationship with anyone ever again. And I don’t know what to do now. I wish you were here to help me.”

The stars gave no response. But Pepper hoped, wherever she was, Natasha heard her. Whether she really heard her or not, it felt nice to pretend she did. So she kept talking.

“I just feel like I’m losing control. And I’m trying so hard to get it back, but I can’t. And you were always here to help me stay in control. But you’re not here.” She raised her voice. “Nat, why did it have to be you? Why did you have to leave me? You both left me! I need you and Tony! I can’t do this by myself.”

“Mommy, who are you talking to?” Morgan’s voice startled her.

“Morgan, what are you doing up?” She asked.

“I had a dream about Daddy.” She laid down beside her and cuddled up to her. Pepper took her daughter in her arms. “Is that who you were talking to?”

“Yes.” Pepper forced a smile. “I was talking to Daddy. And Auntie Nat.”

“Are they up there?” Morgan pointed at the sky.

“I’d like to think so.” She replied.

“Can they hear us?”

“I hope so.”

“Can I talk to Daddy?”

“Of course, sweetheart.” She told her.

“Daddy, I saw a butterfly today.” Morgan told the stars. “It was pretty. Mommy still won’t let me wear her armor, but someday I will. Or maybe I’ll wear yours. Uncle Rhodey came over and ate dinner with us and played with me. He brought me a new toy car. Anyway, I really miss you. I wish you were still here. I love you 3000.”

Pepper wasn’t sure whether Morgan’s words made her want to smile or cry. So she did both.

“Mommy, can we get blankets and sleep out here tonight?” Morgan asked.

“Of course.” She agreed. She didn’t think she wanted to go back in her own bedroom tonight anyway.

Pepper took Morgan inside so she could grab blankets and pillows and change into her pajamas. Then she took her back outside. They put their blankets down by the pond and laid down.

“It’s like we’re having a sleepover with them.” Morgan remarked. Pepper smiled.

“It is.” She kissed her forehead. “Goodnight, Morgan.”

“Goodnight, Mommy.” She replied. She looked up at the sky. “Goodnight, Daddy. Goodnight, Auntie Nat.”

Pepper held Morgan as she fell asleep peacefully in her arms. She was still crying, but she tried her best to be silent.

She knew she shouldn’t invite Rhodey back over. It had been wrong to sleep with him. But she couldn’t help but want to do it again. To need to do it again. She just needed someone. And he was all she had left.

_I got a bad idea_  
_How ‘bout we take a little bit of time away?_  
_I got a bad idea_  
_Forget about it, yeah, forget about him, yeah_  
_Forget about me_

The next morning, Pepper called Rhodey again. He didn’t answer, which hurt a lot more than it should’ve. She left a voicemail.

“Rhodey, I’m so sorry about what I said last night.” She said. “I really did enjoy last night. I’m just not ready for a relationship. I didn’t mean to be rude. What I said was out of line. But if we are going to continue this, and I would like to, I just need you to understand that I’m not ready for a real relationship and I don’t know if I ever will be again. Anyway, the point is, I’m sorry and I would like to see you again. Please call me back.”

She waited anxiously for a response, hoping he would forgive her for what she’d said. Even though she knew what they were doing was wrong, she needed him.

Three hours later, he finally called her back. She answered immediately.

“Rhodey?”

“Hey, Pepper.” He replied. “First of all, don’t worry about last night. It’s alright. I understand completely. I should’ve known better than to even ask about a relationship. Anyway, I would love to see you again. I can’t come over today, but maybe we could spend the weekend together.”

“That would be nice.” She agreed. “Would you come over here?”

“Actually, I was thinking we could go somewhere else. Like a weekend getaway.” He suggested. “I know this place up in northern Maine that’s really pretty this time of year. I’m sure you’d love it. It might be nice for you to get away for a couple of days.”

“I think I’d like that.”

As soon as she hung up the phone, she wondered again what the hell she was doing. A voice in her head told her it was bad enough she’d slept with Rhodey once, now she was going to spend a weekend away with him? She should call him back. Tell him they shouldn’t go. That they should forget about it. Forget about last night. Forget they even knew each other.

But she wanted to go. She needed to go. She needed a distraction from the pain and sadness. And right now, he was the best one she could think of.

_I got a bad idea_  
_Yeah, I’ma call you over here to numb the pain_  
_I got a bad idea_  
_Forget about it, yeah, forget about him, yeah_  
_Forget about me_

May agreed to watch Morgan while she was gone. Pepper had lied a little. She had told her that she and Rhodey were going on a business trip to Augusta. May didn’t question the story, and Peter was excited to have Morgan there for the weekend.

Rhodey had rented out a small cottage by the ocean. It was absolutely gorgeous.

“Rhodey, I love it.” She told him, as they stood outside, looking at the view. “This is incredible.”

“I knew you’d like it.” He replied. “It’s the perfect place to get away from everything.”

“Tony would love it up here.” She remarked sadly. “So would Natasha. Oh, who am I kidding, Natasha’s probably been here. I swear that girl went on some kind of mission everywhere.”

“I don’t know, what kind of mission would you go on in Maine?” Rhodey smiled.

“I’m sure you could come up with something.” Pepper felt sadness well up inside her. She tried to push it away. She was here to distract herself from the pain. But the pain was still there. She started to cry.

“Pep, come here.” He pulled her into his arms. He lifted her chin up so she was looking into his eyes. “You’ll be alright. They’re somewhere even more beautiful than this now.”

He leaned down and kissed her. And suddenly, all her thoughts left her. And her pain was numbed. So she kissed him harder.

Eventually, he was pushing her inside as they started to undress each other. He pushed her up against the wall and his lips moved down to her neck as he pulled down her pants. She moaned as he touched her through her panties.

After a few minutes of this, he picked her up and laid her down on the dining room table, where they finished undressing each other. And the rest of the world faded away when he finally made love to her.

When they were finished, she laid on the table for a few moments, breathless. As she got up and started to get dressed, she felt the guilt set in.

What was she doing? Why was she here, sleeping with her dead husband’s best friend? She knew she was betraying him. So why was she doing it?

She should leave. She should go back home and forget about all this. But she didn’t. Because if she did that, she would have to figure out how to deal with her emotions in a healthy way. And she didn’t feel strong enough to do that. It was far easier to stay here and numb the pain with Rhodey.

So she followed Rhodey to the living room and sat down on the couch, praying that wherever Tony was, he would forgive her for what she was doing.

_Gotta get control of it_  
_Why can’t I let go of it?_  
_Wishin’ you would come and save me_

The nagging voice in Pepper’s head wouldn’t leave her alone. It only left her when she was distracted enough to ignore it. Basically, it only left when she was sleeping with Rhodey. Which was kind of a lot, actually, but that was what they were there to do.

That first night, after they made love again, Pepper fell asleep in his arms. She hadn’t fallen asleep in someone’s arms since Tony died. She had always pushed Rhodey away before they got the chance to sleep.

But that night, she didn’t say anything that would make him leave. She didn’t say what she was thinking. She didn’t say what they were doing was wrong, even though it was. She didn’t tell Rhodey he could never even begin to replace Tony, even though he couldn’t. She didn’t tell him she didn’t love him, even though she didn’t. Instead, she kept her mouth shut and her thoughts to herself.

When she fell asleep, she dreamed about Tony. He was alive and well. They were laying in bed at home. He held her tightly in his arms and she cuddled up against him.

“I love you, Pep.” He told her.

“I love you too, Tony.” She replied.

He kissed her and she latched on desperately.

“God, I’ve missed you.” He said when they pulled apart.

“I missed you too.” His fingers grazed her face gently, and suddenly she jolted awake.

When she opened her eyes, she expected to see Tony there. But it was Rhodey. He was still asleep.

She burst into tears. She desperately wished Tony was still here. But he wasn’t. And she had lost the tight grip she had kept on her emotions her whole life.

She needed to get that control back. She needed to let go of everything she was holding onto. She needed to push Rhodey away for good. She needed to accept that Tony was really gone. She needed to start over. She needed to move on. Then maybe she could be in control again.

But she couldn’t start over. She wasn’t strong enough to push Rhodey away. And she certainly wasn’t strong enough to accept that Tony was gone.

She desperately wished he would suddenly appear in Rhodey’s place. That he would climb into bed with her and hold her in his arms like he used to. That he would save her from all of this sadness and pain. But he wouldn’t. And she couldn’t move on.

_I got a bad idea_  
_How ‘bout we take a little bit of time away?_  
_I got a bad idea_  
_Forget about it, yeah, forget about him, yeah_  
_Forget about me_

Pepper spent the rest of the weekend trying her best not to think too hard about what was going on. Everything about what she was doing was wrong and she knew it, but she tried her best to ignore it. Or at least not to care.

But she couldn’t escape her thoughts. Eventually, they started creeping into her mind even when she and Rhodey were making love. And she didn’t know how to push them away anymore. Somehow, it was starting to seem better to not fight her own mind anymore.

Their last night in Maine, Rhodey had laid her down on the bed and knelt down in front of her. And when his tongue touched her, she was immediately lost in pleasure. She closed her eyes and for the first time in days, she couldn’t think. And she forgot where she was. And who she was with.

“Tony,” Pepper moaned. His tongue stopped and she whimpered. “No, Tony. Please, don’t stop.”

She opened her eyes and remembered what was really going on. Rhodey stared back at her, hurt and confusion in his eyes. She sat up, embarrassed.

“I-I’m so sorry, Rhodey.” She stammered. “I guess I thought you were-,”

“The one you really wanted.” Rhodey cut her off. “I get it.”

“Rhodey, I-I,” she trailed off, not really sure what to say.

“I’m gonna go sleep in the living room, I think.” He told her.

“That’s probably a good idea.” Pepper agreed. “And we’ll leave first thing in the morning and we’ll never have to see each other again. This was never going to work. It was honestly one of the worst ideas I’ve ever had. We should just move on and forget this ever happened.”

“Yeah, we should.”

“Forget all of this. Forget you ever met me. And I’ll forget I ever met you.”

_I got a bad idea_  
_Yeah, I’ma call you over here to numb the pain_  
_I got a bad idea_  
_Forget about it, yeah, forget about him, yeah_  
_Forget about me_

They didn’t even bother to make breakfast the next morning. They just packed up their things and left, hardly speaking a word to each other.

Pepper had known all along that this was a bad idea. But she never could have guessed it would end this horribly. What the hell had she done? She had ruined one of her longest friendships and betrayed her late husband in the process. How had she let herself fuck up this badly?

They picked up Morgan from May’s, then he dropped them off at their house with nothing more than a goodbye.

“Are you okay, Mommy?” Morgan asked her that night.

“I’m fine, sweetheart.” She lied. It wasn’t like she could explain what she had done to her daughter. She would have to keep all this to herself.

And without Rhodey there to distract her, to numb the pain, it all came flooding back stronger than ever. She tried her best to forget about Rhodey. And Tony. And Natasha. But she couldn’t forget any of it. She cried herself into a fitful sleep that night.

_Forget about it, yeah, forget about him, yeah_  
_Forget about me_  
_Forget about it, yeah, forget about him, yeah_  
_Forget about me_

Pepper dreamed about Tony and Natasha that night. She was sitting at the kitchen table with them.

“Pep, it’s gonna be alright.” Tony told her, taking her hand. “Everything will be fine.”

“I’ve ruined it. I ruined everything.” Pepper cried.

“It’s not too late to fix it.” Natasha replied.

“Just because you made a mistake with Rhodey doesn’t mean you have to forget you ever met each other.” Tony said. “You two need each other more than ever now.”

“I don’t know how to fix this.” She argued. “I don’t know if I can.”

“Of course you can.” Natasha smiled. “You are the strongest, smartest woman I know. You can do this. It will be alright.”

“No. I can’t do this without you two.”

“You can.” Tony insisted. “Because you’re not entirely without us. We live on through you. And Rhodey, and Morgan, and Clint, and Peter, and everyone around you.”

“Besides, you’re stronger than you give yourself credit for.” Natasha told her.

“Thank you.” She replied. “I love you guys. I miss you so much.”

“I love you 3000.” Tony told her.

“I love you too.” Natasha squeezed her hand. “Tell everyone we miss them. And that we’re alright.”

“I will.”

Pepper had never needed to have a dream more than she needed to have that one. And she had never wanted to wake up from one less.

_I got a bad idea_  
_How ‘bout we take a little bit of time away?_  
_I got a bad idea_  
_Forget about it, yeah, forget about him, yeah_  
_Forget about me_

Pepper woke up in tears. It felt so good to talk to Tony and Natasha again. She desperately wished they were still here with her. But she knew she had to follow their advice. She and Rhodey needed each other more than ever.

But first, she had to tell Morgan about her dream.

“Morgan, sweetheart,” she gently shook her awake. Her eyes fluttered open. “Wake up.”

“Good morning, Mommy.” Morgan said, sleepily.

“Good morning.” Pepper gave her a soft kiss on the forehead. “I had a dream about Tony and Auntie Nat last night. They told me to tell you they miss you and they love you very much.”

“I miss them too.” She replied. “Tell then I love them.”

“They know, sweetie.”

After breakfast, Pepper picked up the phone to call Rhodey. She wasn’t really expecting him to answer, but he did.

“Pepper?” He sounded surprised. “I thought we were supposed to forget we knew each other. I figured you’d have deleted my number by now.”

“I was wrong.” She told him. “I’m sorry. It clearly isn’t going to work for us to have any kind of sexual or romantic relationship. But that doesn’t mean we should stop being friends. I realized that we need each other more than ever right now. And I don’t want to lose you. I can’t lose anyone else right now.”

“I don’t want to lose you either.” He replied.

“I hope we can still be friends.”

“Of course, Pep.” He agreed. “I don’t want things to be weird between us, though.”

“They won’t be.” She insisted. “We’ll just put this little chapter behind us and start over. We don’t have to forget about each other. Maybe just forget the parts where we slept together.”

“Right.”

Pepper hung up the phone feeling a wave of relief. She realized she didn’t need to sleep with Rhodey to numb the pain or to feel like Tony was still there. She was stronger than that. Because Tony and Nat were still there in her heart, and in the hearts of the people around her. And they would always be there to help when she needed them.

**Author's Note:**

> I still can’t believe the Russo Brothers had the audacity to kill off Tony and Natasha. How dare they kill off my two favorite Avengers? How dare they do them dirty like that? 
> 
> Anyway, I hope hope you enjoyed this. Thanks for reading! :)


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